Ralston Essay.

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Unused First Attempt.

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Outline.

Intro: High Appetite for Meaning.

For as long as I can remember I have craved meaning.

I found young that reading the Bible and meditating on it cured my aching soul.

I see this like any other need, people need food when hungry, they need heat when cold, they need meaning when they feel restless.

Words are meaning symbolized.
A writers true medium is not language nor words but meaning. They are sculptors of meaning.

I guess I found when life felt meaningless I needed to consume meaning.

This led to the consumption of the books around me.
As a kid, I found the genre of self-improvement first.
There were some that were very good, but all in all I found that the popular books around me always left me feeling empty and as if I had wasted time.
They paled in comparison to the depth I had always found in the Bible.

This became my gold standard for a good book.
If it didn’t have a depth on par with the Bible’s I found it not worth the time.

I concluded that the popular works around me were shallow and not dense or deep.
This led me on the hunt to find these works of depth.
This led me to the works of Harold Bloom and Mortimer J. Adler.

Part 1: Self-educative Trajectory Leading to Language and Literature.

This led me to the creation of my own reading list and the attempt to read them all.

This list overwhelmed me though because there was so many works and I wanted to read them all in chronological order.

I began with the Iliad.
I really enjoyed reading it, but soon after reading the Robert Fagles edition I learned of the Alexander Pope translation.

So I then I began reading that one.
I soon realized while reading Pope’s introduction to his translation that I was even missing out on much of the works genius by reading it in translation.

I yearned for getting the deepest meaning out of each work and I felt overwhelmed by my list’s size so I decided to now limit my focus by reading only works in their original language.

This limited me to english and American Literature.
I decided to begin with American because it was closest to me, as an American, and the literature I wanted to read most.

I wanted to acquire the habits of studying a foreign language each day and reading a great literary work each day.

I would start with reading American Literature and studying Latin.
Eventually I wanted to learn Latin, Ancient Greek, French, German, Spanish, Italian, Russian, and Biblical Hebrew.
I thought if as I read through One culture’s literary works, I was learning another language to literacy. Then once finished reading one literary canon I could move to new language I had just acquired’s works.
I though this would be a very clean and cool cycle, and it would be an activity I could do for the rest of my life.

So I began with American Literature and Latin language.

Part 2: Formal Education Leading to Classics.

When I had made this decision to begin reading American Literature and studying Latin I was in Civil Engineering.
I had already switched my major twice before.

The first time was from Kinesiology to Landscape Architecture.

I made this switched because I wanted t more creative, because LSU was the highest ranked, because I was inspired Da Vinci’s biography by Walter Isaacson, and because I loved its interdisciplinary approach.

My shift to Civil Engineering came unexpectedly. On my way to LSU to begin another semester in Landscape Architecture I heard Stephen Blackwood on the Jordan Peterson podcast.

The kind of education he described was exactly what I wanted. He inspired me so much.
At this point I was already neglecting my formal education in order to pursue my own classical self-education.
Then, when I got to school my new Professor for the semester was very ideological.
I thought a switch to STEM would be better because I was interested in it and believed that a STEM education would be less ideological and more objective.
Civil Engineering’s education was not ideological and I did really enjoy the Math classes I had to take, but my interest in graduating with a civil engineering degree ended the second I began applying to jobs.
With every interview I took I was more scared of becoming a Civil Engineer.

My interviewers seemed like they were salt that lost their saltiness.
They seemed dead and lifeless.
It did not seem appealing to me.
I wanted a life of adventure, curiosity, creativity, and and life.
I knew the steady career of Civil engineering wouldn’t offer me what I was looking for.

So, once again I decided I needed a change. The only two majors that interested me now though were English or Classics.

I knew that I didn’t want to earn either of these degrees from LSU because they wouldn’t be rigorous enough, nor would they teach them with the values that I found meaningful.

I decided that I would apply to Hillsdale college to solve this problem.

My hope was to gain both an English and Classics degree from here.
During my interview though my interviewer encouraged me to finish at LSU before coming to Hillsdale. I already had so many credits and another semester of my tuition paid for by the State.
After the interview I looked at every degree I could get from LSU. The one I could get in the shortest amount of time was Liberal Arts—Classical Civilization. A classics degree basically. Something I already wanted. I took this as a sign and decided to begin pursuing that path.
The only catch though was that I the only way I could quickly graduate was if i tested out of three Latin classes. I would have to teach myself.

Part 3: The Journey from Latin Onward.

This is where my formal education and self-education converged.
In my self-educative path I had just decided I wanted to read all of the great works in their original language and had begun studying Latin with the Ancient Language Institute.
Now in order to get my degree I would have to teach myself Latin and take a placement test.

I needed to test out of three classes in order to graduate in one semester, and I only had one attempt at the test.

I dropped out of the Ancient Language institute for a pro rate refund, so that I could begin teaching myself Latin at a faster rate, and save some money. Since the most important value I received from them was their method— their pedagogical approach.
Teaching myself Latin by the Comprehensible Input Method was a huge task, and at this point of my life I did not have the character to take on and successfully complete a challenge like this.
I would begin studying and do it for a while but could stay consistent. I basically made no progress for 6 months. Then my spring semester ended and I only had three months until I had to take the placement exam.
I made a self-educative curriculum and booked a meeting with Professor Alexander Arguelles to get his feedback on my plan and see if he thought it was good enough to prepare me. He said yes and I went forward with enthusiasm.
I did the pan to the best of my ability. I by no means stuck to it perfectly. I did not meet my standard. And I did not test out of all three classes like I hoped.
I did test out of one class though and in retrospect. I am very proud of my performance.

Like I said I did not meet my standard, but this was the first self-educative intensely rigorous pan I set out for myself.
A lot of the skills that I needed to develop, I was able to practice and overcome this summer. And I needed these skills for other intense season of learning in the future.

4 moths later I began at Visual metaphor academy which was another extremely intense self-educative pursuit I took on while still at LSU. Hoping to learn film-making, a longtime dream of mine that I was worried to pursue.
This summer of latin also has perfectly prepared me for Ralston’s Greek intensive.

Conclusion A: My Devotion to Principles.

When reflecting over my life and education I see that my defining commitments have always been to my God and my own spirit.
I have always tried to pursue with the upmost devotion my curiosity, my calling, my sense of Fate, and to do all of that in a way that honored God.
I remember having one crises of faith after making my reading list. Because of my upbringing I felt that anything I read that wasn’t the Bible was a distraction and bad. But I was so curious and felt so deeply that a huge part of my future and calling lied in pursuit of these works.

I concluded that my calling and curiosity were placed in me by God and that to pursue my unique calling and curiosity was a sacred act.
Though at the time, I was feeling most conflicted about reading the works of Emerson and I felt in my heart I couldn’t read him yet.
Even though I decided that my calling and curiosities were divine, I knew what I perceived to be the voice of God within me though should still lead the journey.
I listened to His voice and did not read Emerson.
Now, after having a crazy Summer where I traveled all around Europe, found love for the first time, and got my heartbroken. When at my all time low and I needed something the most, I felt I should read all of Emerson’s works. I did while in Boston. This was the most transformative experience of my life. It was this season of processing my experiences and reading Emerson that Io feel I had finally become a Man and found the principles I will build my life upon.

My only aspiration is to live true to that interior voice. The voice that makes certain things special to me and other things completely uninteresting, to follow my curiosity, my fate.

Maybe discuss here how I went over the Library of Congress cataloging system to se out of all the potential fields of study, which glittered to me the most.

Conclusion B: Ralston as the Perfect, Fated Fit.

Upon hearing of Ralston in that Jordan Peterson podcast, I have felt since that Ralston would be an important part of my future. Maybe I am not destined to be accepted and attend, maybe it was important to my future simply for all the growth and changes it inspired.
But if I am to live true to those voices that guide me, My own Soul and the Voice of God, then I must apply to Ralston and see what happens.
I think I am the perfect candidate because of my interests in Literature, Philosophy, Language, and History.
I have developed the character and skill for the intense education that Ralston will provide through my endeavors of working through Familia Romana in 3 months, completing the Visual Metaphor Academy, and working with and making videos for renowned polyliterate Alexander Arguelles.
Ralston, fits perfectly into my longterm self-educative goals. I hope you see me as a worthy candidate who will be a beneficial addition to the Ralston community and class of 2025-2026

Materials.

The events in our lives happen in a sequence in time, but in their significance to ourselves, they find their own order...the continuous thread of revelation. — Eudora Welty

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Rough Draft 1.

Introduction: For as long as I can remember, my soul has been restless and ached for meaning. This led me to often read my Bible and meditate on words because it was one of the few things I found to quench my soul’s yearning. I came to recognize that this longing for meaning was as fundamental as any other human need. Just as people seek food when hungry or warmth when cold, I sought meaning when my soul felt restless. And, just as some people have greater appetites for food or sensitivities to temperature, I found myself having a greater appetite meaning and a greater intolerance for meaninglessness. This quote from Emerson expresses this sentiment of my soul, “Society wishes to be amused. I do not wish to be amused. I wish that life should not be cheap, but sacred.” The wisdom innate and inborn in every soul has come to stun me. Our soul’s know how to meet their own needs in the healthiest ways, if can only remain receptive to “signal” rather than “noise.” My soul naturally gravitated towards deep reading and meaningful conversation as way to quench its thirst. This now makes perfect sense to me, for words are symbols for meaning. A writer's true medium is not language or words but meaning itself—they are sculptors of meaning. When my soul hungered for meaning, I had to find ways to consume it, namely through reading, thinking, writing, and speaking.

Soon curiosity led me to want to read beyond the Bible. After perusing bookstores, I found myself reading self-improvement books. It didn’t take much time though and I soon found myself unfulfilled by these books. They felt shallow. They lacked the depth and meaning I had found in the Bible. After this experience the Bible became my “gold-standard.” If a book didn’t feel to have a comparable depth, I deemed it unworthy of my attention. There was a problem though, I didn’t which books to read. I didn’t know which books would meet my newly defined standard. “Ask, and it shall be given you” though, because soon I found two books that pointed me in the right direction: How to Read a Book by Mortimer J. Adler and The Western Canon by Harold Bloom. Both of these books had huge lists in their appendices that guided me to the well-spring of meaning.

Part 1: Commitment to Self-Education.

I decided to take the lists from these two books and combine them, making one composite list. I then sorted them in chronological order and began the challenge by reading The Iliad. I read Robert Fagles’ translation because it was the most popular. After reading it, I was content and had no complaints about the translation. In fact, I didn’t even think much of it. I thought I’d move on to The Odyssey. But I soon learned that Alexander Pope also translated The Iliad, and this immediately changed my perception of Fagles’ edition. I felt I had read the inferior edition and so began reading the Iliad again, but this time Mr. Pope’s edition.

Pope’s introduction to his translation opened my eyes to the fact that I’d never be getting the the true depth and beauty of any written work through translation. He showed me that true literature is more than meaning symbolized, its also music. At first I was horrified because I thought learning a foreign language was impossible and didn’t even consider that I could do it. It was not a possibility to me. But soon I noticed there was only one path forward: to read only works in their original languages. Yes, this increased the lifetime workload, but in the short term it gave me greater focus and thereby overwhelmed me less. Now, I no longer had the western literary canon to tackle, but only the American and English canon’s. Also, I was now relived of meaningless and futile work of researching the best translation for each book on the list, something I was wasting far to much time on.

With this decision made, I now had clarity and this led to action. Now, I could focus all of my time and attention on developing two simple habits: reading great literature and learning a foreign language each day. I decided I’d start by reading through the American canon and learning Latin. By the time I finished reading both the American and English canon’s I should be literate in Latin. Then, I’d read the Latin canon and begin learning Ancient Greek, and this pattern could continue for as long as I like reading through a literary corpus and acquiring a new language indefinitely, a fulfilling lifelong pursuit. But, for now, I just needed to focus on learning latin and reading American literature. I started with Leaves of Grass a work whose lines still echo through my head and I often refer back to, and I enrolled in the Ancient Language Institute for Beginner Latin taught by the Comprehensible Input method.

Part 2: Formal Educative Pathway. As I became more confident in my self-educative path, my formal education was as uncertain as ever. At this point I was in Civil Engineering and was looking to switch my major once again. I had already switched twice before. My first switch was from Kinesiology to Landscape Architecture. I entered in Kinesiology because I, like many others, was unsure of my Calling. Therefore, being a doctor seemed appealing because it is a well-respected profession, and I’d get to study and learn about the body and human movement, which had long been interests of mine. My interest in the body though has always been more poetic and spiritual, more akin to Whitman’s perception of it than any doctor’s.

I soon realized that my disposition was not well-suited for medicine. I had the realization while reading Water Isaacson’s biography of Da Vinci that I longed to be more creative and interdisciplinary in my studies. Landscape Architecture seemed a perfect fit. LSU was ranked first nationally for its program and it was interdisciplinary, combining both science and art. I loved my time in Landscape Architecture, but as I progressed the education began to revolve around politics. In addition to this, we were never graded on objective aesthetic standards. I had entered the program hoping to learn the skills for beautiful spaces, but instead they weren’t teaching us any solid skills and we were only being exposed to spaces that were in the wake of modernism.

This all changed though, when on my drive to enter my third semester in Landscape Architecture I heard Stephen Blackwood on the Jordan B. Peterson podcast. The kind of education that Dr. Blackwood described resonated with me deeply. I longed to attend Ralston, but at this point saw no way for it to fit into my educational path. This would soon be changing though because once my semester began I was greeted by a new professor whose entire agenda was political. This was bitter to my Spirit and could not be swallowed, as much as I wanted to. This was not the education that Blackwood promised could be mine. I decided to switch my major again, this time to Civil Engineering because I knew that it would be hard for a STEM field to be idealogical, because I wanted an objective education that would teach me concrete skills that would lead to a secure profession, and because, although at this point literature and language were my primary interests, I knew a Humanities degree from LSU would be worthless and wouldn’t teach the values or works I longed to know.

For a while after switching to Civil Engineering I felt I had made the right decision. It was objective, not ridded with ideology, and would lead to a respected profession like I wanted. But despite this I felt my Soul losing its vitality. This all became apparent when I began applying to jobs. After each interview, I was growing more afraid of this path, for all of my interviewers seemed so different from me. They all seemed like salt that had lost its savor. They lacked the curiosity, passion, and depth that I longed hoped for. I decided I needed another switch. This time though, I felt even needed to change universities. I had tried to find my place at LSU and couldn’t. Now, the only degrees I felt I could pursue were English or Classics, both of which I did not want to attain at LSU. I thought I would apply to Hillsdale to double major in English and Classics. Learning the things I cared for in an environment that suited my tases and values.

The Hillsdale application went great, but during my interview, my interviewer encouraged me to graduate from LSU with a degree before I considered attending Hillsdale. I knew he was correct, even though I wanted a new start. I had over 120 credit hours completed and one more semester of paid tuition, I needed to finish what I started. So, I began comparing every degree that LSU offered and seeing which I could attain the fastest. I was not looking to cater to my interest, but simply walk the quickest path. Out of every degree LSU offered, the one I could attain the fastest was a Classics degree. This seemed to work perfectly and it felt like Fate. Even more exciting to me, was that I could graduate within one semester if I taught myself Latin and tested out of 3 classes. This is where my formal education and self-education began to align.

Part 3: Latin Onward

Now, something that I had been pursuing on and off in my free time for around a year had become my highest educational priority— teaching myself Latin. In January 2022 I had enrolled at the Ancient Language Institute to learn Latin. I had requested a pro-rata refund after four weeks though because I felt I had learned enough of their pedagogical approach, the Comprehensible Input Method, I wanted to save money, and I wanted the challenge of learning Latin on my own. I hadn’t practiced consistently though, and now it was November 2023 and I had only progressed through five more chapters of Familia Romana. Now that I had decided to switch my major to Liberal Arts— Classical Civilization, learning Latin was now my only priority. Despite the urgency and pressure, this was still my first intense, self-educative challenge I had taken on and I hadn’t yet formed the necessary character perform this endeavor to my standard. Everyday I struggled to sit down and perform my studies. This went on for about six months, when my spring semester at LSU ended and I had only three months left until my Latin placement test.

Once my summer break commenced, I knew that I could no longer allow myself avoid my work. If I did, I would drastically fail and live forever with regret and self-doubt; a self-doubt that would forever limit my growth because I wouldn’t see myself as the kind of person who could evolve to meet life’s challenges. Therefore, I went all in and developed a rigorous course of study. Then I paid for two hours of consultation with renowned polyglot Alexander Arguelles. His guidance helped me and we formed a bond that would continue over the coming year, until I was enrolled in his spoken Latin course and making his YouTube videos.

I worked very hard throughout the summer. I tried to log at least four hours of study a day, but hit only two hours per day on average. This was because my father needed me to work full-time for his construction company once July began. Then, in August I studies for more than six hours a day as the exam loomed closer. In the end, I only tested out of one Latin course instead three as I hoped. I think this is mostly because I worked on acquiring Latin through the comprehensible Input Method, without any focus on grammar, which is what all the questions on the placement test revolved around. This strategical error is what cost me; however, all things considered, I am proud of my performance and see that season as one of the most formative and transformative of my life. I took great strides this summer in the development of my character and since have taken on even more difficult self-educative challenges with the skills that I learned.

I also sense that the element of Fate was at work during this whole experience because since I did not test out of all three classes, I had to spend three more semesters at LSU only to complete 12 credit hours. This gave me much free time that I did not let go to waste. In this time, I worked closely with Pr. Alexander Arguelles at his language academy, then I completed an intensive filmmaking course, and began Building my own business Autodidact. To me it feels, that most of my intellectual and personal growth has come in these final few semesters and so I trust that they were a necessary part of my journey and ere not wasted.

Conclusion : A Devotion to Principles and A Call to Ralston

As I reflect upon my life and education, I can see that my defining commitments have always been to my God and my Spirit. I decided long ago that I would follow only my curiosity, my Calling, my sense of Fate, and God’s guidance. A commitment to living by these principles has led me down a winding path. My journey has not been straight like it is for many of my peers, but I trust what Emerson has said that “The voyage of the best ship is a zigzag line of a hundred tacks.” My journey may look hapless and irresponsible at moments, but my Soul was always oriented towards my highest Duty and I know that an adventure of that magnitude cannot always seem respectable to outsiders. I trust though that by being submitted to God and devoted to my Soul’s call, that I will eventually find myself exactly where I was meant to be. Already as I reflect, I can see that my faith to live this way has paid off; therefore, my only aspiration from henceforward is to continue living with absolute obedience to my Soul and to God.

This is why I feel I must apply to Ralston. It has been an aspiration that has called me forward since hearing of it in August 2021. Then, it didn’t seem my life would ever unfold to make applying and attending possible though. By following my Fate though, I have found myself in a place where I see myself as the perfect candidate. My interests and values perfectly align with the program and I have developed the character for completing assigned work with excellence. I am also more experienced than any I know for bouts of intensive and transformative learning. There is no other program that I hope to attend. Ralston is the perfect fit for my longterm self-educative goals and I hope to be seen as a worthy candidate and beneficial addition to the Ralston community.

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Rough Draft 2.

For as long as I can remember, my soul has been restless and ached for meaning. Early on I found reading and meditating on the Bible to quench my soul’s yearning. I realized that this longing for meaning was as fundamental as any other human need. Just as people seek food when hungry or warmth when cold, I sought meaning when my soul felt restless. And, just as some can have greater bodily appetites, I found myself having a greater appetite meaning.

I am continually amazed that our souls know how to meet their needs in the healthiest ways, if only we can remain receptive to “signal” rather than “noise.” My soul naturally gravitated towards deep reading and meaningful conversation as way to quench its thirst. Now this makes perfect sense to me, for words are symbols for meaning. A writer's true medium is not words but meaning itself—they are sculptors of meaning. When my soul hungered for meaning, I had to find ways to consume it, namely through reading, writing thinking, and speaking.

Curiosity led me beyond the Bible though, and into reading self-improvement books. Soon I these books unfulfilling. They lacked the depth I felt when reading the Bible. This realization gave me a new standard: if a book didn’t feel as deep as the Bible, then it was unworthy of my attention. But now I didn’t know which books would meet my new standard. Two books pointed me in the right direction: How to Read a Book by Mortimer J. Adler and The Western Canon by Harold Bloom.

Each book contained huge lists that I combined and sorted chronologically; I wanted to read it through. I started at the beginning with Robert Fagles’ translation of The Iliad. I enjoyed reading it and had no complaints. I thought I’d move on to The Odyssey. But after I learned of Alexander Pope’s translation, which immediately changed my perception of Fagles’. I felt I had read the inferior edition, so I began The Iliad again, this time with Pope’s edition.

I got no further than the introduction. Pope had convinced me I’d never be getting the whole beauty of any work through translation. He showed me, literature was more than meaning symbolized—it was also music. Initially, I was horrified, believing learning foreign languages was impossible. Eventually, I could only see one path forward though: reading works in their original. While this increased my lifetime workload, it reduced my overwhelm by narrowing my focus from the entire Western canon to the American and English canons.

This clarity led to action. I could now focus on two simple daily habits: reading literature and learning a language. I decided to start with the American canon while learning Latin. I thought by the time I finished the American and English works; I should be literate in Latin. Then I'd read the Latin canon while learning Ancient Greek—a pattern I could continue indefinitely, reading a literary corpus while acquiring a new language.

While coming to these conclusions, I was in still in Civil Engineering. I had already switched my major twice before. My first switch was from Kinesiology to Landscape Architecture because I no longer was interested in medicine and Landscape Architecture was interdisciplinary, combining both science and art. I loved my time in Landscape Architecture, but as I progressed the education became increasingly political rather than aesthetic. I had entered hoping to learn the skills for designing classically beautiful spaces, but instead I was learning ideology and Brutalism. On my drive to begin another semester in Landscape Architecture I heard Stephen Blackwood on the Jordan Peterson’s podcast. The kind of education Blackwood described resonated with me. I longed to attend Ralston but didn’t think it’d fit my educational path.

Once my semester began, I was greeted by a new professor whose entire agenda was political. This was bitter to my Spirit. It was not the education that Blackwood promised could be mine. I decided to switch my major again, this time to Civil Engineering, knowing STEM would be less ideological and more objective.

For a while this decision felt right— the education was objective and would lead to a respected profession. But my Soul’s vitality began to wane, a reality that became painfully clear during job interviews. My interviewers all seemed like salt that had lost its savor. They lacked the curiosity and passion I longed for. I needed another switch. This time though, a change of universities felt necessary. I had tried to find my place at LSU and couldn’t. Now, the only degrees I wanted were either English or Classics. I knew LSU’s values and tastes wouldn’t align with mine, so I applied to Hillsdale.

The Hillsdale application went great, but during my interview I was encouraged to graduate from LSU first, considering I had completed so many credit hours and still had scholarships remaining. So, I began comparing every degree that LSU offered and seeing which I could attain the fastest. Out of every degree offered, the one I could attain the fastest was in Classics. This felt like Fate. Even more exciting, was that I could accelerate my graduation by taking a placement test. It was possible to test out of three of the four required courses. This is where my formal education and self-education began to align.

Now, teaching myself Latin, something I could only pursue in spare time, had become my greatest priority. Despite the urgency, this was still my first intense, self-educative challenge, and I hadn’t yet formed the necessary character for performing this endeavor. Every day I struggled to sit down and study. This went on for about six months until my spring semester ended. I now only had three months until my Latin placement test.

Once summer began, I knew I could no longer allow myself to avoid my work. If I did, I would fail the exam and myself. I’d forever live with regret and self-doubt— a self-doubt that would limit my growth by affirming my fear that I couldn’t evolve to meet life’s challenges. Therefore, I disciplined myself and developed a rigorous course of study. I even paid for two hours of consultation with renowned polyglot Alexander Arguelles. His guidance helped and we formed a bond that would continue until I was enrolled in his spoken Latin course and making his YouTube videos.

I worked hard, but not perfectly. I tried to log at least four hours of study a day, but normally could only hit two because my father needed me to work full-time for his construction company. In August, I flew to Florida to live with my brother and focus for the final stretch. Here I was able to study more than six hours a day. In the end, I only tested out of one Latin course instead three. This was mostly due to a strategical error. I focused on acquiring Latin through the Comprehensible Input Method and did not spend any time learning the grammar that made most of the exam. At first, I was upset I didn’t hit my goal, but now I am proud of my performance and see this season as one of the most formative of my life. I took great strides this summer to develop my character and since I have taken on more difficult self-educative challenges.

As I reflect upon my life and education, I can see that my defining commitments have always been to my God and my Spirit. I decided long ago that I would follow only my curiosity, my sense of Fate, and God’s guidance. A commitment to live by these has led me down a winding path. My journey has not been straight, but I trust what Emerson said that “The voyage of the best ship is a zigzag line of a hundred tacks.” My journey may look hapless and irresponsible at moments, but my Soul was always oriented towards its highest Duty, and I know that an adventure of this magnitude cannot always appear respectable to outsiders. My only aspiration has always been to follow my Calling, and I trusted that it would lead me where I was meant to be. In August 2021, it did not seem Ralston would fit into my future. Now, after teaching myself Latin and attaining a degree a degree in Classics, I see myself as the perfect candidate.

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Rough Draft 3.

For as long as I can remember, my soul has been restless and ached for meaning. Early on I found reading and meditating on the Bible quenched my soul’s yearning. I realized that this longing for meaning was as fundamental as any other human need. Just as people seek food when hungry, I sought meaning when my soul felt restless. And, just as some can have greater bodily appetites, I found myself having a greater appetite meaning.

I am continually amazed that our souls know how to meet their needs in the healthiest ways, if only we can remain sensitive to “signal” rather than “noise.” My soul naturally gravitated towards reading and conversation as way to quench its thirst. This makes sense because words are symbols for meaning. A writer's true medium is not words but meaning—they are sculptors of meaning. When my soul hungered for meaning, I had to consume it through reading and digest it through conversation.

Eventually, curiosity led me beyond the Bible into self-improvement books, which I found unfulfilling. They lacked the depth I felt when reading the Bible. This realization gave me a new standard: a book had to feel as deep as the Bible, or it was unworthy of attention. But I didn’t know which books, if any, would meet this standard. Two books pointed me in the right direction: How to Read a Book by Mortimer J. Adler and The Western Canon by Harold Bloom.

Each contained huge lists which I combined, and I hoped to read through. I started at the beginning with Robert Fagles’ translation of The Iliad. I enjoyed reading it, but after I learned of Alexander Pope’s translation, which immediately changed my perception of Fagles’. I felt I had read the inferior edition, so I began The Iliad again, this time Pope’s.

No further than the introduction, Pope convinced me that translation could never contain a work’s original genius. He showed me literature contained more than meaning, but also music. At first, I didn’t know how to proceed with my list, but I concluded I would only read works in their original language. Although this increased my lifetime workload, it reduced my overwhelm by narrowing focus from the entire Western canon to the American and English canons.

This clarity led to two simple, daily habits: reading literature and learning a language. I would start with the American canon while learning Latin. I thought by the time I finished the American and English works I could be literate in Latin. Then I'd read Latin literature while learning Ancient Greek—a pattern I could continue indefinitely, reading a literary corpus while acquiring a new language.

I was in Civil Engineering (C.E.), when I came to this conclusion. I had switched majors twice before. My first switch was from Kinesiology to Landscape Architecture (L.A.) because I wasn’t interested in medicine anymore and L.A. was interdisciplinary, combining both science and art. I loved my time in L.A., but as I progressed it became increasingly political rather than aesthetic. I entered hoping to learn skills for designing classically beautiful spaces, but instead I learned ideology and Brutalism. On my drive to begin another semester in L.A., I heard Stephen Blackwood on the Jordan Peterson’s podcast. The education Blackwood described resonated with me. I longed to attend Ralston but didn’t think it’d fit into my educational path.

Once my semester began, I was greeted by a new professor whose entire agenda was political. This was not the education Blackwood made feel was my birthright, so decided to switch my major again. This time to C.E., knowing STEM would be less ideological.

At first, this decision felt right— the education was objective and would lead to a respected profession. But my Soul’s vitality was waning, a reality that became apparent during job interviews. My interviewers seemed like salt that lost its savor. They lacked the curiosity and passion I longed for. I needed another switch, this time, to a new university. At this point I wanted either an English or Classics degree, and I didn’t hope to attain either from LSU. If I was going to get a humanities degree, I wanted it to be taught with my values, so I applied to Hillsdale.

However, during my interview I was encouraged to first graduate from LSU because I had remaining scholarships and over 120 hours in completed courses. I began comparing every degree LSU offered and saw which I could attain the fastest. Of all the degrees, it was Classics. This felt like Fate. Even more exciting, I could accelerate my graduation by taking a Latin placement test, but I’d have to teach myself. Here, my formal education and self-education began to align.

Now, teaching myself Latin, something before I’d only pursue when free, became my greatest priority. This was my first important self-educative challenge, and, despite the pressure, every day I struggled to sit down and study. This went on for about six months until my semester ended.

When summer began, there was three months until my placement test. I could no longer allow myself to avoid working or I’d fail the exam and myself. I feared affirming my fears; I needed instead to affirm my power. Therefore, I disciplined myself and developed a rigorous course of study. I even paid for two hours with renowned polyglot Alexander Arguelles. His guidance helped and we formed a bond that continued until I was enrolled in his spoken Latin course and making his YouTube videos.

I worked harder than I ever had, but not perfectly. In the end, I only tested out of one Latin course and three was the goal. This failure was mostly due to strategical error. I focused on acquiring Latin through the Comprehensible Input Method and didn’t learn grammar rules— the main thing on the exam. At first, I was for not hitting my goal. Now I am proud of my performance, I see this season as one of the most formative in my life. I made great strides to develop my character, and since, I have taken on more self-educative challenges.

When reflecting on my life and education, I see my defining commitments have always been to God and my Spirit. Long ago, I decided I’d follow my curiosity and sense of Fate. A commitment to live by these has led me down a winding path, but I trust what Emerson said that “The voyage of the best ship is a zigzag line of a hundred tacks.” My journey may look hapless or irresponsible, but my Soul was always oriented towards its highest Duty. My only aspiration has always been to follow my Calling, and I’ve trusted it would lead where I was meant to be. In August 2021, it didn’t appear Ralston would fit into my future. Now, it seems I have unintentionally become the perfect candidate.

‣

Rough Draft 4.

Eventually, curiosity led me beyond the Bible into self-improvement books, which I found unfulfilling. They lacked the depth felt when reading the Bible. This realization gave me a new standard: a book had to feel as deep as the Bible, or it was unworthy of attention. Could any book meet this standard? There were two that pointed to the wellspring: How to Read a Book by Mortimer J. Adler and The Western Canon by Harold Bloom.

Each contained lists of “Great Books” which I combined and began with Robert Fagles’ translation of The Iliad. I enjoyed reading it, but after I learned of Alexander Pope’s translation, which soured my experience. I felt I read the inferior edition, so I began The Iliad again, this time Pope’s.

No further than the introduction, Pope convinced me that translation could never contain a work’s original genius. He showed me literature contained more than meaning, but also music. At first, I was unsure how to proceed through my list, but I concluded I would only read works in their original language. Although this increased my lifetime workload, it reduced overwhelm by narrowing my focus from the entire Western canon to the American and English canons.

This clarity led to two simple, daily habits: reading literature and learning a language. I would start with the American canon while learning Latin, thinking by the time I finished all American and English works I would be literate in Latin. Then while reading Latin literature, I’d learn Ancient Greek—a pattern I could continue indefinitely, reading a literary corpus while acquiring a new language.

My major was Civil Engineering (C.E.), when I came to this conclusion. I had switched majors twice before. My first switch was from Kinesiology to Landscape Architecture (L.A.). I liked that L.A. was interdisciplinary, combining both science and art. My time in L.A. was great, but it became increasingly political rather than aesthetic. I hoped to learn skills for designing classically beautiful spaces, but instead I learned ideology and Brutalism. On my drive to begin another semester in L.A., I heard Stephen Blackwood on Jordan Peterson’s podcast. The education Blackwood described resonated with me. I longed to attend Ralston but didn’t think it’d fit into my educational path.

Once my semester began, my new professor’s entire agenda was political. This was not the education Blackwood made feel was my birthright, so decided to switch my major again. This time to C.E., knowing STEM would be less ideological.

At first, this decision felt right— the education was objective and would lead to a respected profession. But my Soul’s vitality was waning, a reality that became apparent during job interviews. My interviewers seemed salt that lost its savor. They lacked the curiosity and passion I longed for. I needed another switch, this time, to a new university. At this point I wanted either an English or Classics degree, and I didn’t hope to attain either from LSU. If I was going to get a humanities degree, I wanted it to be taught with my values, so I applied to Hillsdale.

However, during my interview I was encouraged to graduate from LSU first, for I had remaining scholarships and many hours in completed coursework. I began comparing every degree LSU offered and found which I could attain the fastest. Of all the degrees, it was Classics. This felt fated. Even more exciting, I could accelerate my graduation by taking a Latin placement test, but I’d have to teach myself. Here, my formal education and self-education aligned.

Now, teaching myself Latin was my greatest priority. This was my first important self-educative challenge, yet, despite the pressure, I struggled to study each day. This went on for six months until my semester ended.

When summer began, there were three months until my placement test. I could no longer avoid the work, or I’d fail the exam and myself. I feared affirming my fears; I needed instead to affirm my power. Therefore, I disciplined myself and developed a rigorous plan. I even paid for two hours with renowned polyglot Alexander Arguelles. His guidance helped and we formed a bond that continued until I was enrolled in his spoken Latin course and making his YouTube videos.

Though I only tested out of one Latin course instead of three, what initially felt like failure became one of my life's most formative seasons. I had developed my character and have taken on more self-educative challenges since.

When reflecting on my life and education, I see my defining commitments have always been to God and my Spirit. Long ago, I decided I’d follow my curiosity and sense of Fate. A commitment to live by these has led me down a winding path, but “The voyage of the best ship is a zigzag line of a hundred tacks.” My journey may look hapless or irresponsible, but my Soul was always oriented towards its highest Duty. To follow my Calling has been my only aspiration, and I’ve trusted its leading. In August 2021, it didn’t appear Ralston would fit into my future. Now, it seems I have unintentionally become the perfect candidate.

‣

Rough Draft 5.

For as long as I can remember, my soul has been restless and ached for meaning. Early on I found reading and meditating on the Bible quenched my soul’s yearning. I realized that this longing for meaning was as fundamental as any other human need. As people seek food when hungry, I sought meaning when feeling restless. And as some have greater bodily appetites, I found myself having greater appetite meaning.

I am continually amazed that our souls know how to meet their needs in the healthiest ways, if only we remain sensitive to “signal” rather than “noise.” My soul naturally gravitated towards reading and conversation to quench its thirst. This makes sense because words are symbols for meaning. A writer's true medium is not words but meaning—they are sculptors of meaning. When my soul hungered for meaning, I consumed it through reading and digested it through conversation.

Each contained lists of “Great Books” which I combined and began reading through. I began with Robert Fagles’ translation of The Iliad, which I enjoyed, but after I learned of Alexander Pope’s translation. I now felt I read the inferior edition, so I began The Iliad again, this time Pope’s.

No further than the introduction, Pope convinced me that translation could never contain a work’s original genius. He showed me literature contained more than meaning, but also music. At first, I was unsure how to proceed through my list, but I decided to only read works in their original language. Although this increased my lifetime workload, it reduced overwhelm by narrowing my focus from the entire Western canon to the American and English canons.

This clarity led to two simple, daily habits: reading literature and learning a language. I started reading the American canon while learning Latin, thinking by the time I finished all American and English works, I would be literate in Latin. Then while reading Latin literature, I’d learn Ancient Greek—a pattern I could continue indefinitely, reading a literary corpus while acquiring a new language.

When I came to this conclusion, My major was Civil Engineering (C.E.). I had switched majors twice before. My first switch was from Kinesiology to Landscape Architecture (L.A.). I liked that L.A. was interdisciplinary, combining both science and art. My time in L.A. was great, but it became increasingly political rather than aesthetic. I hoped to learn skills for designing classically beautiful spaces, but instead I learned ideology and modernist sterility. On my drive to begin another semester in L.A., I heard Stephen Blackwood on Jordan Peterson’s podcast. The education Blackwood described resonated, and I longed to attend Ralston but didn’t think it’d fit into my educational path.

Once my semester began, my new professor’s entire agenda was political. This was not the education Blackwood made feel was my birthright, so decided to switch majors again. This time to C.E., knowing STEM would be less ideological.

At first, this decision felt right— the education was objective and would lead to a respected profession. But my Soul’s vitality was waning, a reality that became apparent during job interviews. My interviewers seemed salt that lost its savor. They lacked the curiosity and passion I longed for. I needed another switch, this time, to a new university. I wanted either an English or Classics degree, and I didn’t want to attain either from LSU. If I was going to get a humanities degree, I wanted it to be taught with my values, so I applied to Hillsdale.

However, during my interview I was encouraged to first graduate from LSU because I had remaining scholarships and over 120 completed hours. I began comparing every degree LSU offered and to see which I could attain the fastest. Of all the degrees, it was Classics. This felt like Fate. Even more exciting, I could accelerate my graduation by taking a Latin placement test, but I'd have to teach myself. Here, my formal education and self-education began to align.

When summer began, there were three months until my placement test. I could no longer avoid working, or I’d fail the exam and myself. I feared affirming my fears; I needed instead to affirm my power. Therefore, I disciplined myself and developed a rigorous plan. I even paid for two hours with renowned polyglot Alexander Arguelles. His guidance helped and we formed a bond that continued until I was enrolled in his spoken Latin course and making his YouTube videos.

Reflecting on my life and education, I see my defining commitments have always been to God and my Spirit. Long ago, I decided I’d follow my curiosity and sense of Fate. A commitment to live by these has led me down a winding path, but “The voyage of the best ship is a zigzag line of a hundred tacks.” My journey may look hapless or irresponsible, but my Soul was always oriented towards its highest Duty. To follow my Calling has been my only aspiration, and I’ve trusted its leading. In August 2021, it didn’t appear Ralston would fit into my future. Now, it seems I have unintentionally become the perfect candidate.

Final Draft.

For as long as I can remember, my soul has been restless and ached for meaning. Early on I found reading and meditating on the Bible quenched my soul’s yearning. I realized that this longing for meaning was as fundamental as any other human need. As people seek food when hungry, I sought meaning when feeling restless. And as some have greater bodily appetites, I found myself having greater appetite for meaning.

Eventually, this yearning transformed to curiosity and led me beyond the Bible into self-improvement books. I found these unfulfilling because they lacked the depth I felt when reading the Bible. This realization gave me a new standard: a book had to feel as deep as the Bible, or it was unworthy of attention. Could any book meet this standard? There were two that pointed to the wellspring: How to Read a Book by Mortimer J. Adler and The Western Canon by Harold Bloom, both contained lists of “Great Books” which I combined and planned to read through.

The Iliad was the first book on the list but instead of beginning to read it, I spent my time obsessing to find its best translation. Eventually, I decided on Robert Fagles’ and read it through. Soon after finishing though, I learned of Alexander Pope’s translation. This frustrated me. I felt I wasted my time reading the weaker translation. There was nothing to do but begrudgingly begin The Iliad again. Thankfully, I read no further than the introduction before Pope had convinced me that I should quit reading translations all together and read works only in their original form. Although this increased my lifetime workload, it reduced my overwhelm by narrowing my focus from the entire Western canon to only the American and English canons.

This clarity led to two simple, daily habits: reading literature and learning a language. I started reading American literature and learning Latin, thinking by the time I finished all American and English works, I would be literate in Latin. Then while reading Latin literature, I would learn Ancient Greek—a pattern I could continue indefinitely, reading a literary corpus while acquiring a new language.

When I came to this conclusion, my major was Civil Engineering (C.E.). I had switched majors twice before. My first switch was from Kinesiology to Landscape Architecture (L.A.). I liked that L.A. was interdisciplinary, combining both science and art. My time in L.A. was great, but it became increasingly political rather than aesthetic. I hoped to learn skills for designing classically beautiful spaces, but instead I learned ideology and modernist sterility. On my drive to begin another semester in L.A., I heard Stephen Blackwood on Jordan Peterson’s podcast. The education Blackwood described resonated deeply. After, I longed to attend Ralston but didn’t think it would fit into my educational path.

Once my semester began, my new professor’s entire agenda was political. This was not the education that Blackwood made me feel was my birthright, so I decided to switch majors again. This time to C.E., knowing STEM would be less ideological.

At first, this decision felt right— the education was objective and would lead to a respected profession. But my Soul’s vitality was waning, a reality that became apparent during job interviews. My interviewers seemed like salt that lost its savor. They lacked the curiosity and passion I longed for. I needed another switch, this time, to a new university. I wanted either an English or Classics degree, and I did not want to attain either from LSU. If I was going to get a humanities degree, I wanted it to be taught with my values, so I applied to Hillsdale.

However, during my interview, my interviewer encouraged me to graduate from LSU first, since I had remaining scholarships and over 120 completed hours. I began comparing every degree LSU offered to see which I could attain the fastest. Of all the degrees, it was Classics. This felt like Fate. Even more exciting, I could accelerate my graduation by taking a Latin placement test, but I'd have to teach myself. Here, my formal education and self-education began to align.

Latin was now my educational priority. At the beginning, I became preoccupied not with learning Latin, but learning how to learn a language. Previously, I had enrolled at the Ancient Language Institute, which biased me to Comprehensible Input and Direct Method approaches. Because of this, I chose Lingua Latina by Hans Ørberg as my guide. There were only three months until the placement exam, and if I wanted to graduate the next semester, I needed to test out of three classes. The scarcity of time necessitated an intensity that I had never before given to my studies, and since there was no class or teacher holding me accountable, I was forced to discipline myself.

By the end of the summer, I had read Lingua Latina three times. This gave me a strong command of the language, but once the exam began, I realized I made a huge strategical error by focusing on comprehension rather than grammar. The passages were easy to understand, but I felt hopeless trying to parse verbs. In the end, I only placed out of one class, but was not disappointed because my Character grew: I had become someone who could love the process of learning a truly difficult language.

Reflecting on my life and education, I see my defining commitments have always been to God and my Spirit. Long ago, I decided I would follow my curiosity and sense of Fate. A commitment to live by these has led me down a winding path, but “the voyage of the best ship is a zigzag line of a hundred tacks.” My journey may look hapless or irresponsible, but my Soul was always oriented towards its highest Duty. To follow my Calling has been my only aspiration, and I have trusted its leading. In August 2021, it did not appear Ralston would fit into my future. Now, it seems I have unintentionally become the perfect candidate.

Final Draft.

For as long as I can remember, my soul has been restless and ached for meaning. Early on I found reading and meditating on the Bible quenched my soul’s yearning. I realized that this longing for meaning was as fundamental as any other human need. As people seek food when hungry, I sought meaning when feeling restless. And as some have greater bodily appetites, I found myself having greater appetite for meaning.

At first, this decision felt right— the education was objective and would lead to a respected profession. But my Soul’s vitality was waning, a reality that became apparent during job interviews. My interviewers seemed like salt that lost its savor. They lacked the curiosity and passion I longed for. I needed another switch, this time, to a new university. I wanted either an English or Classics degree, and I did not want to attain either from LSU. If I was going to get a humanities degree, I wanted it to be taught with my values, so I applied to Hillsdale.