Today, I begin this journal because I have been putting it off for too long. It has become burdensome for me to continue avoiding this work. There will be much more joy and fulfillment in pleasing my internal taskmaster’s order daily.
My thoughts have been so sweet and sound to me. My thoughts have been so pleasant and helpful. This season has forced me to begin finding Truths and Principles that I can build a life upon. I have been searching for Wisdom and meaning; it’s been coming to me in droves. Lord, I am thankful for this.
Today, when reading Leaves of Grass (1891-1892) I felt immense power. I was buzzing as I walked away from the cafe, my heart elevated. That feeling was stronger than my experience with romantic love. It wasn’t quite as intense, but similar and without all of the fear and insecurity. It was a scared moment that I hope to never forget. I can never forget my walk from the cafe to my class after reading Whitman. Life really opened up to me in that moment, and consummated my Love with the Spirit that Reads and Writes once and for all.
After class, I went visit Trevor and Kendall at the Faculty Club. I didn’t eat, but we laughed a bit. Then, Kendall and I went to the Parade grounds to bask in the sun for a while before parting, but before we even started our friend David came get our attention and we began to do calisthenics and acrobatics with him for the next three hours. Trevor came back and Lane came too. He brought the jiu jitsu mat and we rolled.
It was such a perfect day. One of the one’s where Fate shows her hand. One of the one’s where you feel like a kid and are so thankful to be alive. The sun felt good today and I loved my friends.
Today, though when reading Whitman I knew I needed to stop neglecting my work. I knew I needed to begin building my vision. My vision is good and I need to stop doubting its success. I just have so much to say and I want to remember it all. I want to share it all. It may never turn into anything, but, even still, I will be glad for having done it.
Another things I have been realizing is that money will be very helpful. With enough money and freedom, you can learn and do anything you want. Even things that you wouldn’t expect like how to hunt, camp, rock-climb, sail, move, dance, etc. Money can get you more education and more experience. Money can help you make better work. These are the reasons to have money.