October 16, 2024.

It’s the puzzle pieces that almost fit that you end up wasting the most time and attention on. The ones that so obviously would never work you pass by without a blink. Whenever, you think it could work, that’s when you run the danger of trying to force something to work that should never work. I think this is where a lot of heartache comes in life, I’m not recognizing or letting go of things that were almost great or wee so close to being great but never could be truly great. You run the risk of not finding or not being ready for great when it comes if your too consumed with things that were almost great.

I’ve got to start finishing my projects. They have been gestating for too long. It’s time to push and make them real. I have nothing to show for myself right now and I hate it.

I really don’t know where to begin or how to maintain though. The whole project overwhelms me and that’s a huge problem and delay. God, please give me wisdom and guide me.

I’ve really got to learn to work better. I am too easy on myself and feel to satiated each day with too little done. My soul gets restless in one place for too long and I feel I need to move, a change of environment, a good conversation. But all of this detracts from the work the needs to get done.

I don’t think I even know how important it is that I complete my task. If I did, I’d feel much more urgency. I feel that finding my spouse should be top of mind. My emotions are lying and distracting. My spouse will come in time. I can’t change the past either. What’s now is now, and im letting it slip away. I wish I could get it through to my head and heart that romance is not my priority. That my work and development should be in this season.

Love has become my idol and it’s a very poor taskmaster