Today is a blessing. Everyday is a blessing, a genuine gift. I don’t know why or how you can so easily forget that Laban. Be thankful and take full advantage of everyday God has blessed you with.
Often what makes me sad is the feeling of romantic loneliness or the feeling of having lost someone I love and wish they could be with me. But ultimately that is stealing my joy in the present and must be surrendered.
I have been thinking about two little stories and images that have both come to me through my nieces and nephews.
The first is how the other day Gavin, Peter, and Heidi all expressed to me in their own cute ways how they knew that I longed for love more than anything. They all talked about how they knew and loved me enough to know that’s what I most cared for. This immediately made me think of “The Sermon on the Mount” where Jesus says if earthly parents know what their children want and are happy to give it to them, then how much more your Father in heaven. My nieces and nephews, children who have barely come to consciousness, are perceptive enough to see my hurt and see my want. How much more can I trust God.
(Now, if it’s that easy to see maybe I am also wearing my heart on my sleeve too much and need to practice being more cheerful. I don’t want my heavy heart to weigh on those around me. I want to make a video on these thoughts about cheerfulness, but I have yet to get these thoughts down.)
The second thing that has been helping me is this image that I have in my head. Actually my mother gave it to me the other day when I was talking on the phone with her. But we were talking about timing. She basically just said, think about how many times Shira is preparing dessert for the kids and they get so impatient. They want the cookies now and they are begging her and feeling so much pain and stress just because they can’t have them the second they want them. In Shira’s mind there is no rush because she knows the process of how to make the best cookies and she knows that she is making cookies for the kids. The kids doubt this fact though. They feel an uncertainty that leads them to fear and anxiety.
God knows what he is preparing for me and he knows more than anyone how much timing matters. I read in Emerson’s essay on Napoleon the other day that what made him great as general when compared with others was his complete understanding of the importance of timing. If Napoleon knew. If a mark of wisdom is knowing the timing of things, then how much more should I trust the perfect wisdom of God.
Now, in my weakest moments I can begin to doubt that there is a God and if there is whether he’d care for me. But I think that is an indication of when my mind is weakest and not when it is strongest. Because everything in my life experience has come to show me that God is real and he does care. There is so many specific examples, which I wont take the time to list here. But I hope to tell all the stories one day. God I know you guide my Fate. I know Fate is just one of your many faces.
More thoughts on Being vs Seeming.
If you work out regularly, there is no need ever to try to convince someone how seriously you take your health, how seriously you take the gym. If you do the work for long enough, if you actually become the person who works out regularly, then that reputation proceeds you and you won’t have to utter a syllable for proof. Your body will be its own proof.
The same goes for your work. If you are really doing your work, if you are completing difficult and effective tasks each day to progress you towards your goal, in time your results will speak for themselves. You won’t have to convince people you are creative. You won’t have to convince them you are an entrepreneur. You will be those things and they’ll know it by your fruits which will go before you.
If you are feeling that you wish you could just convince someone that you are what you say you are. If you are feeling misunderstood, it’s because your actions (the only way others can perceive you) are not in alignment with how you see yourself.