Today was the first day I woke up without any sadness about Alyssa. That’s great! It was sad in some ways though because I know it means the loss is really final. The more I think about it though it’s only a good thing that she and I didn’t work out. She didn’t possess any of the qualities I value most, even though she had some of the most important other things and nearly all of those.
I read this quote by Naval Ravikant though, “If it entertains you now but will bore you someday, it’s a distraction. Keep looking.” That’s the truth about Alyssa. She was a distraction. The greatest distraction of all because she looked so much like the right fit. But she was far from it. You’ll have to live with the pain and regret forever, but as time passes it’s becoming more lessons and happy memories. I am lucky for having lost her… truly. I am not just convincing myself.
I was reminded today of Naval Ravikant’s quote about how the great forms of leverage today are code, movies, media, and books. I need to start producing videos like a madman. I need to start working like a madman. That is my defect of character right now. Diffused focus and not enough time working. I’ll start with videos, then move to media, then books, finally code.
Today I met Abe. That was a cool, chance encounter. We talked about my ideas. He was encouraging and sweet.
Trevor and I also had a really nice night. After cooking dinner, we went go look for pecan trees on campus, found Cameron Bealle, and then came back and ate our pecans. It was really fun and I felt I was a kid again.
We tried to uncover the symbolism of the pecan. It was so beautiful how it’s like the seed of this dying fruit. We came up with some decent answers, but nothing crazy. I related to how I am trying to start praying to be open to any and all experiences again. I prayed that before I met Alyssa like everyday. It did invite crazy things into my life. Yesterday, was the first time I tried to pray that again. I laughed because it was so difficult to pray. That prayer requires bravery and strength. I realized that’s why I had been avoiding it.
I related it to the pecan because the pecan has this beautiful fruit, or so it thinks, that it tries to offer the world. But it gets rejected. It must die, wither, and fall away. But what is left is another shell. This shell can be how we harden ourselves once we are rejected. But on the inside of that defensive shell is our fruit, is the best thing in us. It’s our desire to be one with another (because all pecans have two within). If we can open up again we can find that beauty of connection with one more, and that love can be of a much more beautiful and substantial sort because it wasn’t formed on the flashy show of our flesh, but on the substance of our fruit.
I had a great time making my LSU page today. I really felt that if I can put it all together it wil become something great one day. I thought of how I can make this page into my video about my college career. How it can be used for my resume and Ralston application.
I thought of how it leads me to put my van trip with Sawyer in there. How I can tell the story of how I met the Devil in the desert. How I can tie that into a self-educative course on storytelling. God, everything I make can be turned into a video. It can all be put to use. All that is needed is a mind to find a way to make it useful, and that is what I love to do. Work Laban! For God’s sake just work and don’t stop!
Another really useful thing I learned in Naval Ravikant’s Almanak today was that the only two skills in general are building and selling. Learn to build. Learn to sell. That’s all you need. I have learned enough to build my Notion template, my website, my videos, my Skool. That will take a lot more time, but I can do it. Once it’s built I begin the challenge of learning to sell.
I think my ideal workday would be 12 hours (maybe one day 16 or 14). But I would read 25 pages of literature. 25 pages for furtherance of knowledge in skills or subjects of import to me. That would take four hours. The. I would have 8 hours of maker time. Time for building the website, writing, making videos.
Learning, building, selling. That’s the work. And learning so you can build better, and building better so it’s easier to sell!
This could all be a good video idea. Just commenting and adding on Naval’s dictum of building and selling.
Also, I decided I will open up those credit cards with no interest and then just put all of my business expenses on one and all of my life expenses in another. That will give me a year and a half of barely spending any money and doing it with no interest.