Alyssa,
My biggest fear and regret is that our time together and your interactions with me will have maybe made you a less confident and less powerful version of yourself.
I tried to make you regret your past, I made you feel unsure of your body, I made you feel insecure about your desire for me, I made you feel insecure about my desire for me, I made you insecure about your performance.
I am really not lying when I say that everything I was critical of shows more about who I was than it does about who you were.
I wish you could know exactly how positively I think of you. I wish you could know the real story about you. That you are smart, the most beautiful thing inside and out, that you are funny, that you are caring, that you are adventurous, that you are not only enough, but more than enough for me and anyone else.
Please be strong and don’t let your time with me in anyway make you more timid or a more shallow version of who you are. You have a divine light within your soul and it was the most captivating thing I’ve ever seen. You are so special. You are so precious.
I brought my own insecurities and issues into our relationship. I brought my own expectations. I believed a relationship would fill my emptiness and when it didn’t I thought it was because you weren’t good enough. If only you would’ve been better then I would stop feeling empty. But I needed to look in the mirror and see that it’s my job to fulfill myself through my work and actions that make me a better and more proud man.
I know how much I’ve learned from our time. I know I will be so much better from here on out. I know God sent me you to teach me the most important lessons I’ve ever learned. My fear though is that I’ve grown and learned selfishly. My biggest fear is that you left our relationship worse than you began, while I am leaving it a better person.
I hope you can forgive me I hope you can learn, grow, and become better despite the things I said and the ways I made you feel. You really are so special and beautiful Alyssa please don’t feel unworthy or insecure in any way. Don’t let what I’ve done affect the story that you tell about yourself.
(PS I’m not saying this to pressure you in any way, but if you do want to see all of the beautiful things I think about you. If you do want a boost of confidence, I do recommend you watch the video I made or skim the website page with all the writings I had of all the moments I realized you were great!)
I wish I could say more and drill it through your head how great you are. I wish I could drill it through your head that everything I made you feel insecure about says more about who I was than it does about you. I hope that you go on from this experience better and a more beautiful version of yourself. I would really hate to learn all of my beneficial lessons at the cost of your soul. Please forgive me and move on stronger and more confident.
Alyssa,
My biggest fear and regret is that our time together and your interactions with me will have maybe made you a less confident and less powerful version of yourself.
Please be strong and don’t let your time with me in anyway make you more timid or a more shallow version of who you are. You have a divine light within your soul and it was the most captivating thing I’ve ever seen. You are so special. You are so precious.
I know how much I’ve learned from our time. I know I will be so much better from here on out. I know God sent me you to teach me the most important lessons I’ve ever learned. My biggest fear is that you left our relationship worse than you began, while I am leaving it a better person.
I needed to look in the mirror and see that it’s my job to fulfill myself through my work and actions that make me a better and more proud man.
Please know you are “incroyabe!”
I wish you could know exactly how positively I think of you. I wish you could know the real story about you. That you are smart, the most beautiful thing inside and out, that you are funny, that you are caring, that you are adventurous, that you are not only enough, but more than enough for me and anyone else.
Every insecurity I made you feel, every bad feeling, every doubt is a lie and a mistake and says more about who I was than who you were.
Alyssa,
My biggest regret is that our time together and your interactions with me will have maybe made you a less confident and less powerful version of yourself.
My biggest fear is that you left our relationship worse than you began, while I am leaving it a better person.