Today, I fell into old ways of behaving. My first alarm went off, I got out of bed to disarm it, peed, but instead of forcing myself to stay up, I got back into bed and slept for two more hours until 10:30. I felt guilty upon arising, and while lying in bed, I recognized my dislike for that feeling and how easily it could have been prevented. I then started going over how I am late to everything. I’m late to class, meetings, workouts—you name it. Then my mind kept increasing the scale. Next, I began thinking of how I never could hit my monthly or weekly goals because I always feel there is so much time. I proceeded to think of how I am always struck by deep feelings of oncoming struggle, but instead of heeding these, like Noah, I ignore them. I saw how this would lead to me not achieving my 5-year, 10-year plans, and hence my lifelong ones either.
I started by recognizing that I don’t wake up when I say I will. This shows me that I do not keep the simplest time commitments to myself. Then, I recognized that I don't keep time commitments to others either. Finally, I understood that if I can’t keep these simple time commitments, then I am not giving myself a firm foundation to build a life upon. If my foundational time commitments are weak, then if you scale that upward, there is logically no way that my lofty ambitions are standing tall. The castle has crumbled, and my aspirations are lying amongst the rubbish beside every other offense of tardiness in my life.