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Prayer to Begin Your Day?
- Dear Lord, please bless me today. Help me to do good on my quiz and give me the discipline to finish my Final Exhibition. Forgive me for my inadequacies. Help me to mend them. Help me to love everyone you bring across my path today, help me to give them the attention and care that they deserve.
Morning Question, What Good shall I do this Day?Latin Quiz
- Work on my Notion once I finish my school
- Have a good phone call with my mother.
Final Exhibition
Write email explaining lateness to teacher.
What am I feeling today?
- I have been curious about the occult again. It’s been arising in me for a short time again. Honestly it has to be since I started listening to John again. I should just cut that out of my life. I don’t necessarily think that an interest in these things is useful. But I have been unsatisfied with Christianity for sure. It feels so shallow to me in a lot of ways. A lot of these other more esoteric paths promise some interesting experiences. I don’t know Lord, I need your guidance and direction. I don’t want to go anywhere you don’t want me to go. I want to always be in good standing with you. I should definitely spend more time with traditional spiritual practices before I look elsewhere. So many people I admire and are close to though follow these other more wu-wu modes of spirituality. I used to demonize them from having gone astray. But Lord, I just don’t know what’s true anymore. Ultimately this feels very distracting. I just need to focus on small simple tasks that I can do everyday that are much more grounded in Reality. There is really no point in worrying about these things.
- It’s also so weird to me that my Latin classmate, Steve James, is so deep into these esoteric traditions. Why is he in my life? I have access to him. I don’t know Lord. Ultimately I want to just live a good fulfilled life. I do thiunk there is a way I can do that through traditional Christianity and that feels so much safer to me.
- I also felt very inspired and happy today walking around listening to Rick Rubin’s new podcast Tetragrammaton. The ads in that show are so amazing. Truly art. It’s crazy to me that everything could be such an aesthetic decision.
Evening Question, What Good have I done to day?
- Really not much. I want to start coming here with better answers.
- I took a walk while listening to Tetragrammaton.
- I talked to my brother and mother. The conversation with my brother was really good.
- I spent good time with Mikah.
And, What have I done Poorly to day?
- I overslept. I missed my first class. I slept until 12. This is such a bad behavior for my mind and spirit. Lord, please forgive me for my irresponsibility, and help me to get back on track with my sleep and my discipline.
Prayer to End Your Day?
- Lord forgive me for my multitude of sins. Please help Matthew find a true relationship with you so that he can correct his path and not become a truly abusive father and husband. Lord, we are all so broken and we definitely need you. Help me to do better at completing my schoolwork. Help me to be honest with myself and others. Help me to find a way to make a living following my creativity and curiosity. I know that is truly the only way I will be satisfied with my life and myself. I really want that kind of freedom and independence. Bless everyone I loive and help me to love everyone and my existence better.
What can I do and do better tomorrow?
- Wake up early and finish your bloody project!